Poetry

Oh hear, oh hear

Have you ever been asked,
“How do you feel about this?”
Ever been so dumbstruck,
That you not just forget how to speak,
But you forget how to human.
Yes, human.
Species that believe to be the smartest,
And the greatest.
Reaching new heights,
Creating new boundaries.
Species that are potent to create so much.
But take a step and destruction such
Wondrous
Fabulous
Marvelous
Devolution, that’s what we are.
My friend, take a bow.
Take a bow, for the universe is applauding.
With tears in its eyes, begging for forgiveness of such creation.
Have you ever been asked,
“How do you feel about this?”
And you have nothing to say
Why?
Because once upon a time, there was somone there who could feel.
And one day they decided to stand up.
Stand up and say what they felt.
What they felt was wrong.
Blooded hands were wrong,
Tiny feet tired of working was wrong
Worn out roads but big beautiful buildings burning the insides were wrong
Fearful eyes
Troubled mothers
Hunger for bodies
Aging alongside the gutters
Wrong. Wronged. Wrongful.
All ears open.
All heads nodded.
All smelt of guilt.
But then what?
Another day, another story
One person done wrong
Another person’s glory.
So yours faithfully stopped feeling.
Yours faithfully closed all windows
Shut the curtains and sewed them together
They quit the show.
And went with the flow.
For next time would they ever stand up for anything again
Would be to hang themselves
With the fragile rope made with the same dirt that the system is made of.
What we’re made of.
You and me.
Our wrongs.
Our smells.
Have you ever been asked
“How do you feel about this?”
No actually, I haven’t.
Because nobody cares.
And the truth is,
Nobody ever will.
Oh hear oh hear.
Powerful, yes?
Moving? Maybe.
Truth? No.
Do you think we’re crazy?
Yes we are, painting the world black or white.
Refusing the greys in different lights.
Contrasting as this might sound
It’s not the truth.
Somebody is listening.
Somebody knows.
Somebody cares.
Don’t shut the curtains,
Don’t lock the doors.
Feel what you feel
Express what is wrong.
Write it down,
Or scream it out
Cry when you’re hurting
Or dance about.
But don’t let yourself down.
Learn to swim when you’re about to drown.
Because our conscience is what we come with and what we’ll leave here.
Everything in the middle is just a whole big mirage.
Have you ever asked someone
“How do you feel about this?”
No? Then maybe it’s about time you start.

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A letter to you

“Dear daughter,
Some things are just not meant to be.
You wont know it,
You cant see.
Not earlier,
Not in the beginning at least.
The beginnings are a piece of cake.
It’s all a joy.
Not forgetting, the memories you make.
Oh wait, well, that was funny,
I just realized,
Such memories are never forgotten,
No matter how much you try.
Teenage hormones, oh! What a pain in the…eyes.
Issues will come your way,
Differences too.
You might shoo them away
But in a day or two,
They’ll be right behind you.
Your heart might tell you,
“It’s all fine, he’s just right,
He’s a dreamboat,
Don’t resist, don’t fight.”
But don’t fall into this trap,
No, baby girl,
Don’t fall flat.
Spontaneity is good,
But not in matters like these.
Take the time and know your guy.
Know him from the inside.
Know what he likes and find out what he doesn’t like.
Cause in the end,
It needs to feel right.
Don’t judge things in the beginning,
The beginnings are a piece of cake.
Remember to let go, if it starts to break.
Cause some things are just not meant to be,
Take it from the 17 year old me.

-Mum”

-Fa

Absurd

And we curled up and cried,
Cried till we were hollow.
Hollow from the inside.
Inside was burning,
Burning like fire.
A fire that could never be put off,
A fire that would burn us from the outside.
We were good as dead,
Dead; waiting to die.
Had no reason to live,
Searched no reason to live,
Blinded ourselves.
Shut ourselves.
Days passed by,
Nights swifted.
Weeks shifted,
Months drifted.
Drifted us apart,
Apart from the world.
Made us absurd,
Absurd to the world.
But did it matter?
Nothing did.
She was gone,
Nothing could stop her…
And nothing did.

-Fa

Identity

In the early morning fog I see,
A face that looked just like me.
She wore a sad look on her face,
waiting to blurt something out straight.

I asked her slowly what was wrong;
She turned away and lost her frown.
I tapped her shoulder and stood still,
She buried her head in her hands,
and let out a loud shrill.

I was startled at this sound,
I held her and turned her around.
The sun had now come up,
and the fog had nearly faded out.

She moved her hands to reveal her face,
She looked at me and I held her gaze.
Distant waves could be heard in the silence.
The air was cold and I could feel the dryness.

I wanted her to say something to me,
to share her sad and deep feelings and see,
But instead she broke my gaze and started to run.
I wanted to follow her, but I couldn’t.

All this never made sense to me,
Maybe it was a dream, maybe reality.
But for all I know and for how much it’s true,
She might just be a part of me.

-Fa 

Sleepless

The wind was sober.
The night; alone.
The windows were open,
The lights shut out.
In my bed, lost in thought.
Dreaming about
Dancing about
Trying hard to sleep there I was.
I thought about the mountains,
About the seas,
About the beaches and my bikini.
I jerked my blanket off
Trying hard to sleep there I was.
Then I thought about
A lover that I had
His grip, his kiss
I wanted so bad
I held my pillow with my arms,
Trying hard to sleep there I was.
Suddenly, all the thoughts went gloomy
Was there somebody looking at me?
I opened my eyes slowly,
And found myself alone.
I peeped under the bed
And I closed the creaking windows.
I looked at the time,
Four Forty-five it said.
I hurried back into the blanket,
Ignoring it totally.
In no time I was fast asleep,
This was only because I knew
That my alarm had spoken to me,
“Fifteen minutes is all I’m giving you.”
It said to me.

-Fa

Aghast

I stand in front of the mirror,
I  look at myself,
I see my past
I feel the presence.

Its just another mask I had worn
That was lost somewhere,
Lost in the crowd
I was unaware.

Should I be concerned?
Should I ask for help?
Should I forget about it?
Or shouldn’t care less?

It might over shadow me,
Catch up with my present.
It will strangle me;
Strangle me to death.

Its a choice I make,
Its now or never.
I don’t know what to chose
Neither do I know if I can conquer.

I am confused and alone
Its a battle with myself.
Or should I say a battle between
My past and present.

“Let by gone be by gone ”
Is just a statement.
It can never be forgotten,
It cannot be forgiven.

Its not my mistake
It wasn’t my fault.
But I am to blame;
That much I’m aware of.

-Fa

Crystal Clear

I gave my heart, gave my soul.
So passionate, out of control.
It wasn’t love..Or was it now?
Cant name it, cant name it somehow.

I tried to hide it, I didn’t want to though.
But gave in every time, every time we came close.
But then came a day, I realized..
That all these feelings; were just from my side.

It was a pain I felt, right through my chest.
Stabbing, piercing. I was out of breath.
It was dark, I was alone
Threw all the colors out of the window.

I revived myself… over time.
I grew up and I realized.
That everything that happens, happens for a reason unknown.
You trust yourself, you learn and grow.

Cause now when I look back
Its crystal clear.
Without my past,
I wouldn’t stand here.

-Fa